Getting Your Better Half Into It!
It’s so important to get the support of the person we do life with. No matter how independent we are, our ‘better half’ can add to all of the elements necessary to succeed. They can contribute to our energy, beliefs, finances and goals. We need to help them become our biggest advocate.
No matter how supportive our partners can be, sometimes it’s a challenge to get them on board for our new business venture. They usually have some reservations that need to be addressed. And, your the best one to do that!
You might also be interested in our free printable relationship questions. They help you connect on a deeper level. Or our daily rhythms for a better relationship.
Hey, Barbara Boss here with Girl Creative. Today we’re going to talk about getting your spouse or life partner, fiancé, girlfriend, boyfriend, whoever onboard for your new business online idea. Or maybe it’s an online business you’ve already been on, and they haven’t been on board. Here’s some tips to help get them on board. Now, I know that some of you are probably saying like, I don’t need them on board, I can do it without them. They’re not that supportive of my new ideas anyway. Opposites attract so usually if there’s an entrepreneur, there’s also the person that likes to just play life the way that they should, obey all the rules, go to work eight hours a day, and come back. And both are great but you might have differing views. And so, you might have somebody that’s against your ideas when you are planning to start a new business. Let’s talk about that. Because even though you think you can do it without their support, it’s true, you probably can. But there is so much more you can do with the support of your partner, the person that you do life with. It’s huge, and we’re going to talk about that.
First of all, I was just kind of talking about this, get your own feelings in order. It is good to have someone that has your back when you’re starting something new, or when you’re working hard on something that you’ve started, especially if you’re an entrepreneur. They can benefit you with time. They can help you find more time by saying, hey, babe, go ahead and go work on your business, I’m going to do the dinner dishes tonight. Or you can say can you take the kids tonight so that I can work on my business for a few hours. And so, it’s super helpful, they can provide you with more time to spend on your business. Also, money investment. There was a course that I wanted on how to build Pinterest, and it was like $1,000. And I really wanted to build this business. And my partner at the time in that business was my daughter, and we talked about it and we decided to end up buying that. But if your spouse is your partner, this is money that comes out of your joint account, usually, if you have combined money, and so it’s important that they’re on board, if you’re going to want to spend a little money and set things up. So, they could add to your money investment. They’re also super great for encouragement, this goes a long way. Just having someone that says, I know you can do this, you’re working hard on it, and I bet you money this is going to pay off.
That’s super important. That was my alarm to go get my kids, that I have that outsourced today. The other thing, oh, I threw this in there coffee support, just you know, someone that will come hand you a cup of coffee and say, are you almost done? No, I’ve got another hour. Well, here’s a cup of coffee, right? So, basically, a positive relationship adds energy, instead of draws energy out of you. And that is why you need to get your feelings in order that yes, having your spouse or partner for life, on say whatever onboard for your dreams. Super important. I know girls that like, I’m sitting there having coffee with them, and their husband shows up home from work and they immediately act exhausted. It’s been such a hard day, the kids have been awful and I had so much to do and the washer broke, and, you know, whatever. And it’s like, this is what they walk into every day. Okay, if you’re that kind of woman, I’m guessing you’re not because you’re already looking at becoming an entrepreneur, you’re probably a getter done kind of girl. But if you’re that kind of girl that just acts exhausted the minute they walk in, or maybe you do this on a smaller level and don’t realize that I caught myself doing it where you’re like, oh my gosh, I am so tired. I’m so wiped out today. Okay, if you go and tell them now, I want to start a new business, what’s the first thing that’s going to go through their mind, like, you can’t handle it, right?
Go ahead and have it together. Have your hair combed, little lip gloss on when you meet up with them and be like, hey, how was your day? Oh, it was tiring, the kids did this, and this and that but I got this. So, act like you’ve got this. And don’t be drama just to get more help out of your partner. I see a lot of girls do this. To get more help from their partner, they get super dramatic or super frustrated about the kids or whatever. Don’t do that. If you need some extra help from your partner, just don’t let them know when you’re completely exhausted. It’s okay to let them know but just do it verbally. Be like, wow, today was a really exhausting day. I could totally use some quiet time or I could really use some help with the kids tonight. Maybe you could get them to bed tonight because I’m tired and I want to just go veg out in front of the TV or I want to go spend a little time on my business in a quiet room, and not hear the kids fighting tonight. Just verbally tell them, don’t be exhausted and wiped out when they walk in. Makes a big difference, okay?
Also, when you’re first proposing this idea to them, or maybe you’re already in a business, talk about it at the right time. Don’t start into it when they’re just coming home from work and exhausted, or you’re both just coming home from work and tired. Do… I’m giving you some do’s and don’ts here, you can probably notice; do pick a time when you’re both kind of chill and in a light mood. Don’t give negative reasons; like I’m just sick of being broke and I’m sick of always being the one home or I’m tired of my boss and really want to quit. And I’m going to talk about this a little bit more later. Don’t give the negative reasons give the positive reasons. Like, I really would like to have a little more money in our savings account. Or I would really like to run my own business. Or I would love to be able to quit my job and tell my boss that I don’t need that job anymore. So, always give the positive reasons and keep it super positive. Don’t get offended if they seem a little off about it in the beginning. Lots of people are because they’re like this making money online thing I’ve heard about that but it seems to only work for the really lucky people. And so, don’t get immediately offended and like defending it. Do be vulnerable say, yeah, sometimes I feel that way too but I’ve been studying into it and there’s actually quite a bit of people that make a little extra income online, just selling things or sharing what they know. Don’t get offended, just be vulnerable about it, be cool with it, and pick the right time to talk with them about this.
You also got to sell them the dream. You can give them the reasons that you want to do this; adding to your income, like I mentioned, you would like to work for yourself, you want more time with the kids, you want a little more freedom so that if grandma isn’t feeling well, and you need to go take care of her for two days, then you don’t need to worry about paid time off or something like that. You can also say that you’ve always wanted to own your own business. I remember wanting to own my own business since I was a little kid. Sony’s walking around, okay. Benefits of working at home, like I said, maybe you want to build a retirement because you don’t want to just live on Social Security income, and your company doesn’t offer 401k and you just want something with a little long-term benefit. Maybe you want a Lake House, maybe there’s some awesome dreams out there that you want to share with them that you want to do. Or maybe you just wanted to run a business with them. That’s totally legit, tell them hey, I want to work with you eventually. And I can start it and, in the future, we can both work on it. Like I mentioned, watch your words, there’s some red words that we don’t use. And this is in all relationships, there’s some red words that shouldn’t be used, whether it’s with your spouse or with your kids. But one of them is always. So, you don’t say, I don’t always want to be broke. Or you always leave your socks on the floor. Always is kind of a red word when discussing things with your spouse. Kind of depends on the tone of voice too. But you don’t want to say things like we just don’t have enough money. That’s like insulting them if they’re one of the breadwinners in your partnership. And then you say we just don’t have enough money. Because that’s kind of like saying you aren’t doing good enough. I hate my boss. Like I said, do it more positive, I would love to tell my boss I don’t need this job anymore. I’m tired of my kids in daycare, I want to spend more time with my kids. I probably should have put this slide before the last one. Another red word you don’t want to use is never. You never believe there’s more out there or you never support my ideas. These are red words you’re not going to use in this conversation with your spouse. Be sure to get that in check before you start talking to them.
And then another thing is match their values. What are their values that this is going to contribute to? There’s probably a lot of them that you share, and they’re in your mind, but you haven’t verbalized them to them yet. And these can be even shorter-term wins that they believe is more doable, like paying off the credit card. Hey, think how much quicker we can pay off our credit cards if I just made an extra 500 bucks online on the side. How about a college fund for the kids, I just want to put a couple hundred bucks a month into the college fund for the kids. Or how about paying off the cars. Think how much quicker we could pay off the cars if I was putting an extra 400 bucks a month to it. So, smaller more possible goals is really good and especially when it matches their value of something that they’ve been working on; or maybe you want to cut back on overtime hours for them or for you. Eliminate second jobs, hey, it would just be awesome if we could do this instead of working that side job that we do. Have more money for charity. Sometimes their passion…. maybe they’re philanthropists. And you can say, you know, hey, wouldn’t it be nice to have more money to throw into Operation Eyesight or to the Food Pantry, or Habitat for Humanity, something that they’re passionate about. And the last one, make a difference in the world. There’s so many things you can make a difference in the world just by sharing what you’ve learned to people who haven’t learned that yet and who need to know that. I know that I’ve learned a lot of stuff online, some stuff doesn’t check out. But there’s a lot of things out there that people share, that have been very helpful in my life and that did make a difference in my life. And I’m thankful for them, because it really made my life easier, or helped me with a health issue I was having or a nutrition issue or something like that. Sharing online can really make a difference in the world.
Other things that they can be to you. Your spouse can actually be your business partner. And like I said, maybe you want to run a business with them, tell them I’ll start it, you come in later, you watch the kids while I work on my business, and then later you come on, and we’re a partner together. They can also be an accountability partner. For those of you who don’t know what that is, when you’re running an online business, you have to be super self-motivated, because you’re working at home by yourself, usually. And so, there’s nobody standing over you saying, hey, did you get that done yet. And so, when you’re running an online business, you want to set up an accountability partner or two. This can be your spouse, this can be a girlfriend even, but your accountability partner, you tell them what your plans are for that month, or for that week. Lots of people meet weekly with her accountability partner, maybe it’s just a cup of coffee sitting there with him saying, this is what I want to do this week, I want to get lesson one and lesson two done of my course. Or I want to get my Etsy store set up or a WordPress blog set up. And then when you’re having coffee with them a week later, they say, hey, did you do that? And you’d be surprised how much that helps to have somebody that’s expecting you to do something. It’s not just in your mind of oh, these are the things I need to get done this week. But having someone else that you give them a list of what you’re planning to accomplish that week and then they will come back and say, hey, did you accomplish that? And it’s not like some shaming, scolding thing, but just knowing that you’re going to be reporting to someone, even a best friend makes a huge difference.
They can also be part of your mastermind group. Sometimes your accountability partner is within your mastermind group, which is another important thing. Your mastermind group is the people you collect around you who have the same goals and who can help hold you accountable. People you can just chat with, you usually want them to be kind of in your same line of work. And you usually just like meet once a month or something over Zoom on a three-way phone call or something and just talk about things like hey, what did you do to build your funnel better? Oh, well, I did this, why don’t you try that? Okay, I’m going to try that this month. And then later, they’re like, hey, Barb, did you end up trying that out on your funnel? How did that work out? You can add them to your mastermind group, click to a couple of other people around you, this kind of goes into a whole different thing. But click to a few other people around you who you feel like are winners at life. They don’t have to be super successful, but they can have to be people that you admire, because they did something that was successful, and you feel like you can learn from them. And then you also want people in your mastermind group who are slightly below you in knowledge so that you can give information to them; because when you teach somebody something, you’d be surprised how much of it you retain yourself. And I’ve learned that telling something to someone solidifies it in my own mind. So, you want people who are slightly above you or have been doing it longer and people who are newer, or if you’re brand new, then maybe just get someone else who is brand new with you so you can share your ideas with them. But add them to your mastermind group, maybe they want to be. They can also be a strength in a particular area. Maybe your spouse is an accountant, and you’re going to need some accounting services once your banking, and I’m making a bunch of money, right? Or maybe they’re into graphic design and they could be useful in that way. These are other things that they can be and if nothing else, esteem support. Somebody who says I know you can do this, kind of like I mentioned before. Behind every successful entrepreneur is a best friend. Make them your best friend, make them your partner. Don’t exclude them. Don’t get your feelings hurt if they say well, I thought this would happen quicker or just be vulnerable and say, yeah, me too, but I’m trying this new thing next week and I think it will work. So, bring them in, let them be part of it because having their support, having them on your side, and having them see the dream makes a huge difference. Okay, good luck.